The Decisions We Make

“A glass of white, please,” I said to the bartender at the hotel. I looked over my left shoulder at my best friend expecting “a rum and diet” but instead, “Just water for me.” We walk over to our table, glass in hand and all the stories we wanted to spill to each other about life, love, and everyday stories. We sat down and looked at each other, my mouth half open with the first story I was ready to spill about my life back home in New Jersey and before I knew it…

“I’m pregnant.”

That’s all I heard, as everything and anything I wanted to say about myself just escaped my brain.

“Ok.” I said. “What do you want to do?”

“I’m keeping it.”

“Ok.” I said.

“I’m going to go grab some more crackers and let you take that in for a minute.”

I sat there alone in my chair looking at my glass of wine, knowing that I’ve been in here not all that long ago and her decision is no where in the vicinity of what mine was at the time. I knew he loved me then, I knew he would always love me, and that I felt the same way about him. But there is more to raising a child than being in love with the other, he could never provide the “more” that I needed.

But…how do you tell someone you made the right decision when you don’t know what truly would have been the outcome if you had made theirs?

Seven months later I’ve returned to Washington, DC. This time there is another hotel, a baby due in July, and plenty of white wine for me to drink at the baby shower.

We walked into the room together, her friends and soon to be family surrounding her, her eyes lit up with joy. Pink balloons, lots of boxes wrapped with perfect bows, and everyone excited to celebrate baby girl Talya coming into the world.

As I continued to enjoy my white wine in an attempt to not worry about how she would manage being in DC with a newborn and boyfriend that can’t afford half the rent, no family of her own around to babysit in a moment’s notice, I realized what she’s been trying to tell me ever since I took that first sip of white wine seven months prior.

Each one of us makes decisions that are right for us. No matter what her life looks like at any point in time, when she looks at that baby girl, her eyes will light up and she will know she made the right decision.

No matter what the decision is that we make, inevitably, life will make it the right one.