My New Beginning. A Fantasy.

It was 5PM and I found myself sitting with enough clothes for 2 months of summer through Europe gazing out the window at the airport staring at my plane. This plane was not only taking me away from my life, my family, friends and everything that had made me, me, but it was bringing me to a new place, my new beginning.

 It will be like a fantasy.

 I sat on the plane in anticipation of the moment. The moment where I say, this is it, this is my moment, my time, my place, where I get to change how everything will be from now on. And then reality sinks in. Each moment is that moment, and I have to stop waiting for it, looking for it and start just living it. 

I walked off the plane and onto the Metro in London, it felt like forever till I got into the heart of London. I stood at the corner, staring at the sky, buildings, the people. That first breath of London air made me see this was all new and different.

I was alone but not lonely. I had no cell phone, no iPad, no computer. It was just me and the streets of Europe to bring my awareness back to me, my moment, and the place in which I chose to stand. Walking through the streets, having my hand grazing against the World War II memorial. The cold stone of the memorial reminding me of touching the Kotel as a child and thinking of the history that exists within the soul of the stone.

I walked across the London Bridge to find myself with a chocolate crepe from a Jamaican man just making enough selling the most delicious desserts so he can live a life without worry. Could this be me? Could I find happiness in the everyday of meeting people, just living and not having a single worry? But he must worry too. He must wonder how he will make enough to support himself through the winter months when the tourists stay home in their warm beds. No one lives with a worry or care in the world. The reality of the world we have created as a modern society forces us to worry; small or large.

Walking back to my hotel I stopped in a small park to just sit, eat a sandwich and enjoy the last few rays of sunshine before heading off to bed. As the birds chirped a couple was sitting quietly on a bench whispering. Whispering their secrets for no one to know. I sat on my bench with my thoughts, hopes and dreams.

I had been on this bench before. I was 15. My sister and I were left to explore London on our own as our parents enjoyed their time going to museums. It was colder then, Christmas time. The city was lit up with lights, empty of tourists, but filled with joy and life of the locals. This time I was alone, beginning my fantasy trip across Europe. Alone with my thoughts and dreams, and connected with all that could be offered to me to enjoy and live.

I was no longer anticipating my fantasy. I was living it.